Another factory visit completed, along with another seemingly endless bunch of material to write about in this blog. I had been advised by my trading agent here that I should check out a "box factory" which makes boxes for our blazers. She went on a long diatribe about how she had done business with the factory owner for a long time, and that I should seriously consider buying our blazer boxes from him. So I agreed, and off we went. The factory owner was going to pick us up in his car, but unfortunately she neglected to tell me that I would have to endure a bus ride for 40 minutes to get to where the factory owner was waiting, during the peak of rush hour. For anyone who has ever ridden the bus or subway during rush hour in China, they might be able to attest to the ultimate horribleness of such an experience. 45 minutes and multiple foot-stamps on my sandals later, we arrived at the bus stop where we met the factory owner's beat up minivan.

I'm really not complaining, because I've ridden in some crappy vans and modes of transportation during my time here in China and elsewhere, but this one was bad. "Forget it, entrepreneur's have to get their hands dirty, its that simple," I told myself reluctantly. Another 45 minutes later, we arrived at the "box factory" where the factory owner came out and greeted us. During the long bus ride, the trading agent repeatedly told me that he was extremely trustworthy "because he was in the army for 20 years." I'm not sure how those two characteristics really correlate, but I took her word for it and shook his hand with a surge of confidence that this guy wouldn't take my money and split, not yet at least. We took a tour of the factory, and not a box was to be found, on all four floors of the freaking thing. It turns out that she took me to a normal clothing factory which "occasionally produces boxes." Big disappointment, but for boxes, there is always Alibaba. One thing I was pretty impressed at though, were some of the brand names which this factory was making clothing for (which will remain nameless because I don't want a lawsuit, unless someone who is bar-certified leaves me a comment telling me they'll represent me). They agreed to consider our business model, and showed me some samples of blazers they have made before. Not bad at all, but we'll have to see if they can beat our current factory's quality.

The factory owner, who seemed mesmerized by me, "Chairman Dale" who could speak Chinese, invited me out to dinner for, as he put it, "more booze than food." I have been put in this position before, and usually it leaves me in a position I like to call, cuddling the toilet three hours later, but I decided I would try to control the booze-flow as much as possible. When trying to impress, Chinese people like to drink, and this was no exception. We went to some weird (but surprisingly good) restaurant with ping pong tables in the foyer, where we started the shitshow. Aside from the multiple "Gan Bei! [bottoms up]" orders, the dinner was quite pleasant and the conversation was engaging. I tried to talk about business as much as possible, but he kept steering away from that and actually asked me all about American politics and had some interesting viewpoints and criticisms of China's economic prosperity. It was actually an honest conversation with a fairly successful Chinese guy where I wasn't bored to death after 2 minutes.

After the last of the baijiu (Chinese booze, aka, lighter fluid), our party stumbled out of the restaurant and found that the driver had exchanged the crappy van in for a slightly less horrible, and somewhat comfortable car. I was inebriated enough that I didn't mind, as long as I had a window to lurch out of if I felt the need on our hour journey back into the city. Thankfully I made it home relatively unscathed, though I did get a "you smell like shiser" from the girlfriend as I fell into bed later. Ahh Germans.... So, now I'm hungover, but confident that we might have found a factory to tap into when our volumes get up. I guess that is as good a plug as any to buy blazers from us, if you enjoyed this post and want to keep reading more about my drunken adventures, buy a blazer so I can get our volumes up and make a better case to this factory owner to give us some big discounts.

You may already have read about my vow of celibacy taken not long ago in hopes of becoming more intimate with my (Dress)monkey. Looking back on it, it made perfect sense for me to forfeit my right to females and give my business the undivided attention it deserves. Although, not all things work out as planned. With DressMonkey still weeks away from putting out the way I had intended her to I’ve been sucked back into the dating game by one intoxicatingly beautiful female.

This girl has got it goin on. Best of all, she’s so far up the monkey tree after just three dates that she’s even started writing DressMonkey’s very own jingle that, although lacks originality (sounding exactly like Brass Monkey by The Beastie Boys), is made up for with catchy lyrics and bodily theatrics.

I’ve thrown at her only the blazer basics up to now: DressMonkey wools, linens and cotton. Remaining conservative on nights out with her has helped me lay the groundwork for forays into evenings in more expressive fabrics. Next time I’ve decided to mix things up a bit and rock a DMNK velvet or houndstooth.

More developments sure to come soon...

Have you ever referred to a favorite clothing item by its label? (I shrunk my Diesels! or Dude, this rain is killing my Hugos). Besides sounding like a complete tool, the fashion police at Ask Men say the practice is dangerous: you could become a sucker for brand names and find yourself high atop other people's "fashion victim" A-lists.

We at DM wholeheartedly agree. While I may dream of the day I overhear someone lamenting the wear and tear of their "Dressmonkey," the days of blind devotion to one designer are over. At Dressmonkey.com, you create the clothes and then follow the manufacturing process. Brand whore, no more.

Check out the entire article here.

Cheers on this Labor Day Weekend to neither knowing nor truly caring who she may be.

I’m like most guys when it comes to deciding what to wear on a first-date. It should be easy and require very little thought never taking longer than a couple of minutes. Keep it simple with something that will keep you feeling comfortable all night and believe me your date will take notice and appreciate you for it. I don’t get it why some guys find it necessary to replace personal style with what a couple of fashion editors say are the latest trends for men’s clothing in attempts at making a memorable first impression with a lady. Showing this type of sucker for name brand tendencies labels you a fraud and will be painstakingly obvious to whoever you’re trying to impress and undress. Fashion and style are two separate things, the latter being what’s most important because it is distinctly your own.

How will DressMonkey help dress first-dates and ensure true personal style is maintained and preserved while the constant stream of opinion-based fashion trend reporting rolls on?

Much of that will be answered in the fancy customization window application (built specially for and integrated into DressMonkey.com) that will allow our customers’ design ideas to be created, viewed, and altered in real time. The rest, of course, is the important part and requires you all to start thinking about the different looks and fit that have you feeling your best.

"Here he is. A quality guy in a quality blazer -- it's the DressMonkey way. What else is there left to say?”

My foray into DressMonkey velvet has started to pay off big time for me with my lady friend. Just check out what she was quoted as saying about us:

“At first I had my doubts of the guy based simply on what he was wearing the first time we met. Spandex and rollerskates would make any grown woman cry! Luckily for him, he played it cool…"

"For me, and I'm sure most women would agree, the key for a man is to just play it cool and let the blazer do all the work. Jeff knows this, I mean he’s the founder of DressMonkey…"

"I’m embarrassed to say it, but the other night I was over at Jeff’s and he was wearing his DressMonkey. I don’t know what got into me when I pinned him between my legs and ripped off his blazer and put it on myself. Let me tell you:

"The appeal of wearing a Dressmonkey extends way beyond its material comforts – it also appeals to that inner voice inside me that says, “I’m different” even if no one is paying attention. Imagine the feeling of going to work with no underwear: you feel different even though you look the same; things seem funnier because you know something that everyone else doesn’t. THIS IS HOW YOU FEEL WEARING YOUR MAN’S DRESSMONKEY."

Adam our designer with one of the many mannequin wigs found in the fabric market

The ever optimist, I think that this round of Meet My Monkey could be the one. We went to our favorite city in China (well, second to Shanghai of course) to buy a shit-ton of fabric samples to be used in our latest round of quality testing. We are focusing on velvet, corduroy, and a small sampling of wools to really compare different vendors from the massive fabric market. We're also trying out a new sizing system that will hopefully replace the faulty one in our first Meet My Monkey. During this round of Meet My Monkey, the playing field will be much larger, as we're getting a few more friends to participate, and we're also looking to 100% simulate our ordering process in an attempt to get our factory to sync with our system. DressMonkey tags, buttons, crests, and all other amenities will be used in this round.

So I'll be posting our results from this the latest round of MMM next week. I hope to report some good results so stay tuned.

Girls Gone Wild...For Monkeys

Could a study exposing a woman's undisclosed passion for primordial love-making bring to our brand the sex appeal that is vital for any clothing company to be successful? Our name implies that it might. It's settled -- we're dressing up bonobo's in blazers and passing out feathered ticklers at our inaugural fashion shoot next month.

See you ladies there.

Las Vegas- DressMonkey co-owner Jeff Horowitz, in town over the weekend to discuss his company’s December launch with angel investors, survives the scare of his life involving a giraffes, two double-jointed Puerto Rican trapeze artist and a tribe of Finnish midgets with feathers in their heads.

Details remain unclear, but according to hotel security personnel, at approximately 3:25pm, while rehearsing for that night’s Australian Thunder From Down Under performance, the giraffe, Puerto Ricans and midgets (being used as props for the show) fell through the ceiling of the conference rooms that Mr. Horowitz and his associates were in. Luckily, no one was injured or killed.

A spokesman for Mr. Horowitz commented, “Obviously, we’re not used to business meetings of this nature. On the one hand, Mr. Horowitz can appreciate the men of Thunder From Down Under who work tirelessly in their underwear; Jeff and Coley take great pleasure in their respective offices in Shanghai and San Diego being productive in nothing more than their boxers. On the other hand however, the spectacle we witnessed this afternoon in there I’m afraid was a bit much, even for executives with years of experience dealing with atypical "Chinese businessmen." Furthermore, the theatrics we witnessed today have all of us wondering what the exact role giraffes, small Latino men and midgets play in a men’s strip show.”

Mr. Horowitz on the phone with his partner Coley Dale in Shanghai shortly after the near-fatal encounter with midgets forced DressMonkey meetings outside to a nearby hotel pool

Distractions for on-the-go business owners are becoming commonplace in Sin City. While events like this add to the entertainment value of Vegas for out-of-towners, they also underscore a serious growing problem for the city and its officials. Adam Williams, Las Vegas Business Council Chairman, noted that “this kind of stuff happens all the time and is getting worse by the day. The long-term economic impact it has for Vegas cannot be good.”

Business owners who come here to work instead of party are quick to find out that their Blackberries and laptops are useless and might just as well be put away in exchange for a cocktail or a brew. Mr. Horowitz, still visibly shaken up, was quick to voice his displeasure, “I was sandwiched between a midget and a giraffe today. I’d say that’s cause enough for a drink, wouldn’t you? It’s total mayhem here, someone take me back to China, please!”

Distractions like this one are making Vegas a bitch for unsuspecting small business owners like Mr. Horowitz and creating headaches for city planners who fear such poolside spread eagles may in effect be siphoning execs' travel dollars away from the city's coffers

Mr. Horowitz’s visit was his first as DressMonkey CEO, and marks the inaugural visit for a DressMonkey executive to the state in which the company received its business license back in January of this year. “It feels good,” Mr. Horowitz said over dinner at Tao, a chic new club inside the Venetian. “I tell you what, even the fiasco earlier is beginning to feel good. Pulling out from my wallet a piece of plastic that has my company’s name on it and having a waitress look at it, it just feels good to give back to the people of the wonderful state of Nevada. For so long I wondered what a false sense of importance really feels like. Now I know that feeling, and share that special bond with all the important-looking people that frequent Las Vegas.”

Such choice words come from a guy that many locals believe to be nothing more than the archetypal out-of-town fool. “I don’t care if he has a Nevada business or not. The guy's an idiot; I bet he couldn't even be able to spot a transvestite on the Strip from one of Siegfried's white tigers," said a transvestite named Barry. His friend Willy, a very big 25 year-old with big muscles, added, "I mean, yeah he gives us the opportunity to own a cool custom blazer, and sure I’m going to buy one when I can, but honestly if I ever see him on the streets of Vegas I’ll kick his ass real good.”

A pennyless Mr. Horowitz - sporting a sharp DressMonkey suit and looking like a drunk fool - waits for friends outside a casino during the early morning hours

Fabric for MMM2b, the latest round in quality assurance testing for DressMonkey's Pre-Launch

So, I've just dropped off our latest blazer test run at the factory, and here's hoping that everything turns out the way I think it will. Though this is has been slightly less adventurous as the last meet my monkey, it has definitely provided some signs of optimism. With our new sizing system in-hand, I asked that all of our blazer recipients take a look at their suit sizes or simply to order a generic size. Some had ordered relatively simple and generic sizes, whereas some were much more complex, as in, varied on the original sizes which is what we plan on offering all of our customers. It was good to get a healthy mix of all different sizes, and I sincerely hope that the factory can handle all of them.

Our Meet My Monkey'ers also had quite a few different designs that will also test the factory to the fullest extent. And with all these cool designs that people picked out, assuming they all fit as well as I hope they do, we'll be conducting the first ever DressMonkey photo shoot. The shoot will be done mainly with this blog in mind, so we can make the header a little less gay, and the site actually reflect what it is we're doing here, i.e., selling blazers.

So I get the results from the factory on Monday, and I really, really hope they work. So, keep posted to see the latest and greatest from DressMonkey product development, coming soon,

With our monkey fresh out of its cage, my role as marketing director has officially commenced. It's time to make some noise in order to try and create a real web presence. Getting noticed online is the logical first step for any e-tailor without a bricks-and-mortar location. So, how does DressMonkey go about doing this? And how can you all help?

Since search engines and other blogs will be a major source of visitors, especially early-on, improving our site’s search engine rankings is key. This will require links to other relevant sites. The more links we have, the easier it is for the Google robots to find and index our site. We start by spending time emailing other websites we think might be interested in exchanging links. I'm targeting popular indexes like digg.com, del.icio.us, listible.com, and boingboing.net. We're asking our friends to do the same. Spend time on our site. Get to know what we're about. Then, if you find us worthwhile and have a spare moment, shop it around over the internet. You'll be sure to put a smile on our faces.

For a complete guide to how buy a suit, flip to page 340 of the September 06 issue of American GQ... or don't.

This month, GQ dishes up eight pages of style tips that don't quite manage to demystify what they call 'a serious investment... [that] can be overwhelming, frustrating, and flat-out confusing.' Most of the article's text is spent fretting over predatory suit salesmen. In GQ's world, your paramount blazer-buying concern? Point 1 states 'Beware of the sales guy.' On finding a suit that fits you: 'Salesmen will tell you they can reduce or reshape the shoulder pads - don't listen to them.' Their featured suits are mainly the $1000+, reliable GQ advertiser variety.

Other golden-rule pronouncements from GQ: 'Leave the pinstripes to Wall Streeters' ... 'A ventless jacket is just plain wrong' ...and etc.

But hey, buying a jacket is just not that bad. Over here at Dressmonkey HQ, we're not trying to push your Uncle Morty's screaming-loud plaid blazer on anyone. We're also not going to put the fear of blazer buying into you. Whether you want to wear your jacket to an ibanking interview in the morning, or the local watering hole in the evening, we've got suit options that let you get creative and personal. Either GQ doesn't have the word space to get into the nitty gritty of what makes a classic and contemporary jacket, or they'd rather not tell you. Stay tuned as Dressmonkey reveals our fall lineup of balanced, finely crafted jackets that are up to the minute stylish, with the history and details behind every style option. Don't be afraid...

Whalers owner Jon Lombardo wearing a vintage DressMonkey blazer

Hartford- It seems like only yesterday they set up their first blog. Now, DressMonkey appears to be on the heels of a major sports partnership deal that some sources are calling "the biggest, and by far the dumbest move in the history of corporate sponsorship of defunct sports franchises."

In a deal said to be in the tens of dollars, DressMonkey has apparently agreed to be the exclusive provider of blazers to all remaining members of the Hartford Whalers. Jon Lombardo, who assumed ownership of the Whalers franchise after they "r-u-n-n-o-f-t" in 1997, was principle in the negotiations. He is also the only known member of the Whalers, so the deal will apparently have minimal impact on DressMonkey's soaring stock price (NYSE: DZNUTZ), an unnamed source said. That source chose to remain anonymous as he is not authorized to speak to the press, though he added, "even if I could speak, I don't want my name anywhere near this, talk about your all time stupid moves."

DressMonkey founder Coley Dale has long been said to yearn for the glory days of the Hartford Whalers, who not once, but twice, almost made the post-season in what was once called "the easiest playoff system in any major sporting league." It is said that the move has actually caused a rift between Mr. Dale and DressMonkey co-founder, Jeff Horowitz. Apparently, Mr. Horowitz's hometown of Los Angeles' abundance of professional sport teams has always been a point of contention between the two founders. Mr. Horowitz had been said to advocate a sponsorship of the LA Rams, or even the Lakers as they are almost defunct anyway.

Regardless of internal strife, Mr. Dale appeared confident during his daily news conference, which registered record attendance today with 1.5 people (it should be noted that the 0.5 indicates that someone accidentally walked in while Mr. Dale was speaking, thinking that the news conference was actually an adult-diaper giveaway). Denise Precht, Mr. Dale's girlfriend who was intentionally in attendance noted "he always makes me sit through those things, but today he talked about some team that I've never heard of, which is at least more interesting then him discussing his favorite dental floss or how many Cheerios he can force into his mouth."

"Today, the Whalers and DressMonkey embark on a new and uncharted path to glory and mutual assistance," Whalers CEO Lombardo said, at his daily news conference where only Ms. Christine Huang was in attendance, apparently sleeping. Then, he was heard mumbling when he thought the microphone was off, "yeah, if mutual assistance means DressMonkey giving me kickass blazers for free and me posing for pictures every so often."

It is not clear what impact this will have on the team formerly known as the Whalers' move to Greensboro, North Carolina. It has been speculated by no one important that the new partnership between the Whalers and DressMonkey may inspire the team now known as "the Hurricanes" to move back to Hartford, change their names back to the Whalers, and give up their Stanley Cup all in an effort to woe the lucrative and extreme chick-magnet DressMonkey Partnership.

We will keep you posted as more details come in.

What is DressMonkey?

DressMonkey is a custom-apparel startup, with operations in Shanghai and California, with a target market in the United States. We’re currently finalizing our factory agreements and working on our website with a scheduled release by the end of 2006. Our current website design is being completed in two stages: Dressmonkey.com has become operational, and will function as a blog until our retail site can be developed by the end of the year. DressMonkey will be a custom-apparel site, where customers can design their own clothing depending on a defined set of variables. Initially, our site will only have one product, mens blazers. Eventually, we plan on adding an assortment of additional clothing types, all of which will follow the same model as our flagship line in terms of customer interaction and decisions.

Why a blog?

Because everyone else seems to being doing it, right? Well, yes and no. The industry-wide consensus that a blog can be an effective and cheap marketing tool for a business makes perfect sense to us. However, besides the obvious motive of attracting visitors to our store, we're also turned on by several of the less-obvious benefits that a blog naturally provides: it makes the framework of our site easily changeable and expandable; it allows us to gather comments and feedback in postable, searchable form; its text-based format is indexable by search engines; and most importantly, it is an interactive medium we can use to communicate directly with our customers quickly and openly, thus forcing us to think about our business in new ways every day.

What to expect from our blog?

Marketing of our products of course. However, that's just the tip of the monkeys tail.

Think of our website as your all-access pass into the mysterious world of textile retail manufacturing.

In our attempt to position ourselves as an anti-brand alternative to high-priced designer markup brands as well as "add value" for our potential customers, we're going beyond the traditional role of blogs as simply a marketing tool and offering up things that the majority of our apparel manufacturing competitors intentionally keep a secret from the general consumer: how textile products are produced, who produces them and where, actual costs of production and materials, pricing new products, cost analysis, and basically anything else that we feel factors into the production equation for an apparel company based in China. We'll also be writing as much as we can about the ins and outs of starting an internet retail company as it pertains to our experience: our presence in China and the US, dealing with the Chinese, understanding international trade laws and customs compliance, incorporating, our thought process in making important business decision, new ideas that come to mind, breakthroughs, setbacks or failures, delays, marketing, promotions, developing an online presence and so on.

You will discover that we at DressMonkey are loathe to follow our competitor's model of brand secrecy and markup.

Check out our archives packed full of spoon-fed content in:

Sophomoric humor
Male-opinionated points-of-view
Honest reporting from our factories in China
Men’s fashion tips
Transparent textile retail manufacturing
Playful cynicism
Calls for action
Heavy use of alliteration and internal rhyme
Rants about particular business shortcomings
Competitors' secrets
Featured guest columns (coming soon)

What not to expect?

Stiff corporate talk or any true sense of formality.

Phase I is the blog. What is Phase II and when should we expect to see it?

Phase II of dressmonkey.com is the build of our online store and back-end system as well as its delivery and integration with the rest of the website. This is really the meat and bones of our Monkey because it will finally allow you all to design and purchase your very own DressMonkey and show us the magical color green that turns red into black. Simply put, if our blog (Phase I) is your all-access pass into the underbelly of retail textile manufacturing, then our store (Phase II) and its working components will be your tool that connects you to your DressMonkey and allows you to follow its creation from the minute you design it up until the moment you receive it and try it on.

Phase II remains very much a work in progress. Rest assured, however, that we are working around the clock with our team of graphic designers and web developers to build a truly custom online store-front that we hope will offer a truly unique e-commerce experience for our customers. The build process is chugging along, and by December we will integrate blog and store to create an online retail website that will have you all dancing like a chimp. And remember, the progress of the store -- like all other things related to DressMonkey -- will continually be chronicled on our website, so be sure to visit us regularly.

We greatly look forward to your involvement in the early growth stages of our young company. Remember that the bloginess of our website creates an interactive medium you can use to communicate directly with us in an informal and timely manner, as often or as little as you want. Feel free to talk to us whenever you like.

What Are These Monkeys Doing Starting A Clothing Company? Only Time Will Tell...

DressMonkey is the pet project of two 24 year-old males, currently living in Shanghai and San Diego. What started in 2003 as separate individual pursuits for a deeper understanding of the ways in which international business and cultures collide quickly transgressed into one mutually intoxicating love/hate relationship with their jobs, fashion and all things Chinese.

One worked as an IT consultant for a Fortune 500 company where he spent 12 hours a day behind a computer punching in numbers for field data queries with machine-like efficiency and eating KFC for lunch everyday. The other worked as a business development manager for a Chinese logistics company where he not only was oddly treated like royalty simply for being the only foreigner in the organization but also witnessed quite possible every single fashion faux pas known to man (or, in this case, only known to Westerners) thanks to his colleagues.

Finally, one day in early 2006, the highly overworked and underpaid consultant and the culturally confused and fashionably frustrated BD manager quit their jobs and decided to start a company that addressed what they felt had become a growing need in this world for young professionals like themselves: the creation of a more respected and fashionably-dressed “office monkey.” Alas, DressMonkey was born.

Our launch is creating quite a buzz amongst future DressMonkeys of the world! Check out what's being said so far:

Oh man, I had to take a quick peek at "The Monkey," but I can't wait to take some real time and dig into the website. I'm pumped and can't wait to order my first vintage monkey blazer!

Love the site!! sooooo gonna keep checking out the sight and spreading the word!!!

Nice job on the site. Once you get the commercial website ready, shoot me an email and I'll stick it in the magazine... as long as you can ship to Japan!

DMNK: Shipping to Japan isn't the issue. The difficulty will be convincing Japan's youth culture to buy a DressMonkey. Frankly, where do we even begin with them?

Congrats man!!!! The first picture on the page is hilarious. Good luck with everything!

Great idea- I hope you aren't using sweatshops. All those young hipster post irony buy-suits-off-websites-advertised with coley-dressed-as-Dieter types are into ethical supply chain certification these days. Corporate social responsibility is the new hookers and blow.

A brilliant start, super logo, great tilt that makes business fun again. aah, for youth and good looks. Best wishes for continued very cool endeavor.

DMNK: Coley will trade you (or anybody) his youth and good looks if you send him a package of English muffins, lucky charms cereal and dunkin doughnuts coffee.

Looks really good - the visual as well as the story of you and Coley. It's a great blog and is memorable. I'll pass the word to those that I can.

I like the idea and I can relate first hand you some of your in insight on China and it’s fascinating (sometimes bizarre) culture. I will definitely peruse the DressMonkey e-commerce site when it’s up. Good Luck.

Go Monkey Go!

The site looks so good. Especially the honey in the skanky blue dress. how much did you pay her to take the pic with you?

DMNK: The girl in the skanky blue dress initially wanted a part of the company for the picture. I said hell no, but offered her a part of the man behind the company. She said hell yes.

This is SOOOO AMAZING! You really should really write a press release, talk with someone from the New York Times and get DRESS MONKEY on the front cover of the New York Times Styles section! Really! I think it's a really interesting concept you've got.

DMNK: Anyone know of anyone at NYT?

Nice work jeff! keep me updated...if they are not too expensive, i'd love to get a blazer for my husband once that part of your site is ready to go:)

One day some celebrity will be walking down the red carpet at the Oscars and some reporter will ask, "Who are you wearing?" and this famous celebrity will look right into the camera and proclaim "I am wearing DressMonkey." Sweet.

DMNK: Cool. But we reserve the right not to sell a blazer to Tom Cruise.

"I was exploring your web-site and its quite interesting and if you tell me some less complicated words about what exactly u're doing it could be great. What are your plans on this business? is it really that serious or its just a short-term project? So exciting! Wishing you good luck and all the best."

DMNK: Full translation in Russian of our products and services coming soon...

Amusing site - hope it catches on.

"CONGRATULATIONS ON PHASE 1 - I ACTUALLY WENT INTO "DRESSMONKEY.COM" THE OTHER DAY JUST TO CHECK IF ANYTHING WAS HAPPENING YET. I KNOW OF 2 CUSTOMERS (THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE CUSTOMERS YET) WHO WILL BE ORDERING BLAZERS WHENEVER. LET US KNOW!"

"You guys are fucking legends! Total stars .... Your website is amazing .... well done and many congrats!! I will get round to reading it all and telling all my mates in Scotland!!"

Welcome back and kudos on your endeavour. Big fan of the web page and of course the lotion shot!

You may want to stress each of your affinity for women at the beginning. Otherwise the whole company may seem more like a reason for the founders to screw each other than run a legitimate business. I know that's not true, but you lose the benefit of the doubt when you go into fashion. The first picture doesn't help either. :-) Yet I admire your entrepreneurship.

DMNK: Point well taken. Ignore our questionable tendencies and just admire our entrepreneurship.

Yes...a blazer from DressMonkey.com is a GREAT idea! Congrats on the new venture, can't wait to see the goods!

I will definitely check it out and pass it on!

As the build of our retail website rolls on, so to do our marketing efforts. I've spent the better part of this week learning more about what are said to be the gender-based differences that influence shopping habits and purchasing decisions. With DressMonkey a man's shop, it is crucial to recognize and understand the various behavioral purchasing patterns of men in order to make the necessary adjustments to the overall design of our retail site.

Man's "make me happy now" mentality makes branding difficult in an openly competitve market. DressMonkey is out to change this trend by putting the power of creating a final product in the hands of its customers.

We’ve made some minor changes to our website this week. Things you may have noticed that weren’t there when we launched include:

- a clickable header
- category page links
- a featured guest section (currently titled “Adam’s World”) in the sidebar with style advice from DressMonkey fashion consultant Mr. Strokes
- other browser specific fixes that you probably wouldn't have noticed anyway

You will also find our author pages as links in the sidebar. Click on JEFF and COLEY for more mouth-watering photos and Q&A's about us. I manage to come across as a vague, uninterested prick with an inflated ego. There’s no excuse for that. I apologize. For a much better picture of what DressMonkey is all about (and what a sensible and passionate guy is all about), check out what Coley has to say.

DressMonkey marketing assault and expanding blog content just moments away!

Chomsky's words resonated with Rindy. However, thoughts of total government overthrow were diminished when he realized just how well his blazer actually fit.

Right now I feel like that kid who bullies used to beat up but then grew up to graduate from MIT and make billions, and then while returning to his hometown on the way to the Vineyard, he found that those one-time bullies were now reduced to scraping the bugs off his windshield at the carwash. Though I was never beat up by anyone and never graduated from MIT, he and I share the same grin. I was however, beat up by the last Meet My Monkey, after which our sizing system stunk almost as badly as the monkeys I saw at the zoo this weekend. Our monkey needed some anti-perspirant, and got some in the form of a completely redesigned sizing system.

We were a little more careful this time around, and our new strategy on sizing worked flawlessly. The full details on our ordering system won't be released until our retail site is up, but we hope you can enjoy the same fitting blazers that these guys who participated in this Meet My Monkey round did.

We also used this Meet My Monkey round to test out our newest fabrics, which all pretty much performed in blazers the way we expected them to. However, certain corduroys and wools stood out in this round of testing, and its likely that we'll now order some of them for our launch.

Here are some more pictures for you to see of our blazers. We're having a full on photo shoot in 2 weeks, so you'll get a little bit more artistic angle than my mediocre camera can provide.

He's on the verge of tears....a black cord blazer that actually fits and feels good!

He's happy, I promise. What he doesn't know is that despite how great his blazer looks, I'm actually about to kick his ass in tennis.

Now if only I could afford some Dom Perignon to celebrate...then I wouldn't waste my money on that crap and I'd buy one of these.

It was only a matter of time before you saw the inevitable posting on a trade show. Well, wait no longer as Adam and I ventured out to Hong Qiao to check out a textile and apparel show. I prepared early that morning, piling enormous amounts of business cards in my pocket, printing out our product specifications, and eating some Wheaties.

About 10 seconds after we arrived, I was instantly subjected to the insane Chinese sales technique of following me around, for 10 minutes. This woman came up to me and asked for my business card. I refused, but eventually gave in (stupidly). She then asked that I come over to her booth and discuss how we could work together. I said I'd make my way over eventually, but she then proceeded to follow me everywhere. It was a thrilling chase, with me mumbling obscenities under my breath, stopping at her competitors stalls, even asking her to leave me alone, but her determination to annoy me seemed endless. Adam eventually tried to run a pick and roll play, but after it failed it had finally dawned on me the best way to ditch this bogey, the men's room. She actually followed me in, but quickly saw the urinals and made a U turn. I remained hidden, in my poorly lit and incredibly smelly fortress of solitude for almost 5 minutes. I emerged from the nauseating enclave to find that my fabric suitor had vanished, finally.

Adam and I walked around for a while and found 1 stall that really thrilled us. It was a specialty fabric seller, which offered premium quality wool, cashmere, and tweed. All of which really looked like they would be found in a jacket that would retail for over 1,000 dollars. I'm not going to be specific on our pricing strategy here at DressMonkey, but I will say this, we will never charge even half that for even the most top quality blazer. But just so you know, these guys are the same fabric suppliers to many of the top of the line providers, and now we have access to them.

Wanted: Coley Dale, Crime: 27 counts of Fabric Molestation

In addition to finding some cool fabrics which will soon be offered on DressMonkey.com, we even found some good leads on our future factory partners. Lots of people were trying to sell me on the fact that despite their factory's historic mass-producing processes, they would be willing to adapt to our business model. I don't know how much I should really be believing this however, as I've already learned about yes men here in China.

After a long day of high-speed chases, touching fabric in very risquee ways, and giving the same freaking company introduction over and over (in Chinese, which makes it even more exhausting), Adam and I headed for the exit. On our way out, we noticed another trade show that looked 200 times cooler than our apparel one. The "Greater China Cleaners and Cleaning Products Trade Show," was occurring at the same time. We had to register to get in, so Adam used his creative mind to come up with a name that would really convince the attendants that we were from a cleaning company, LeDoushe. I, Art Vandalet and Adam LeDoushe were registered in nano-seconds and entered the cleaning products show. What we saw was the future of cleaning products, something that I would just assume skip, but a certain German in my life would most certainly be enthralled by. We were surrounded by large guys named Carl from the Midwest wearing distinctly un-DressMonkey attire (not so great fitting suits), and all seemed to have made their millions, well, cleaning toilets. We left in a hurry, LeDoush Industries just wasn't large enough to make the kind of investments they were asking (I saw one carpet Zamboni that retailed for 40,000 dollars, again, I'll spend my money elsewhere.

Sadly, carpet zamboni driver Wang MingHui failed to qualify for this year's F1 Pro Cicuit. Maybe next year WMH!

So, it was another good day for DressMonkey. We learned how to ditch unwanted fabric saleswomen, clean just about anything, and most importantly, how to offer all of our future customers the TOP of the line fabrics out there.

Dear Ladies,

We at DressMonkey are not shy to admit the fact that we were hesitant to sell to your type at first because you are just too damn difficult to fit. We figured that if the manufacturers of the world's leading women's lines that have been around for decades still can't get it right, neither could two guys and their band of Chinese brothers. Producing well-fitted garments for women on a mass-produced basis has always been a mystery science. Why is this ladies? Is it your penchant for "vanity sizing"? Givenchy, Karan, Hilfiger, Versace, any ideas?

Luckily technology exists to set the record straight.

Check out the new ways in which body-scanning devices are helping to give women with ill-fit clothing new hope and confirming DressMonkey's long-held belief that the future of the apparel manufacturing industry will be in mass-customization.

I should have learned this lesson years ago, when I gave my business card to some girl I wanted to help me learn Chinese. She took my kind invite as an excuse to think that I was going to marry her ( I swear I told her all I wanted was a Chinese friend, and that I had a girlfriend) and decided to come and look for me, walking around my old company's office not once but twice in an effort to give me really strange peppers. Then, she followed me home and I had to run away from her so I could meet my real girlfriend's parents for dinner.

Then, last week I went to the trade fair I wrote about earlier. People left and right coming up to me, asking for my business cards that I simply didn't think twice about giving it to them. Big mistake, as now my inbox gets about 10 emails a day saying, "So nice meet you Mr. Dale, I hope we can make long friends in future, equally business for profit." I systematically have been deleting these things, but today, I thought that I had to publish just one of the last parts from yet another factory in ZheJiang.

"So nice to come meet factory I think. Touch you soon!"

I do hope that he means, "I'll get in touch with you soon"

We regret to inform you that our chief technology consultant, Mr. Zhang, is no longer an employee of DressMonkey after being arrested in Beijing last week.

His childish stunt has brought shame to the DressMonkey family not to mention to the 1.3 billion of his countrymen. It remains unclear at this point whether or not Mr. Zhang's arrest will affect the launch date of DressMonkey's retail site. We hope that this unfortunate occurance will not in any way harm the reputation of DressMonkey LLC either in China or in the United States.

Thank you very much for your understanding regarding this matter.

Click here for the full details of Mr. Zhang's arrest.