This man recently turned down our offer (citing cultural differences) to be the official spokesman for DressMonkey.com

DressMonkey seems not the only one with something to prove to America. Be sure and look your best in DressMonkey at our friend Borat's movie premeire coming this November!

And now, a tirade into why you need to buy from us....when we eventually get our shit together...

I think we Americans have a serious problem with figuring out how much to pay for something. We buy something that's more expensive simply based on the fact that somewhere, somehow, we have been brainwashed to think that it is of superior quality. Think about it, the store brand mouthwash is around 40% cheaper than Listerine, it was duplicated exactly by CVS to possess the same germ fighting capabilities, yet you bought the Listerine. And why did you buy the Listerine, when every bone of common sense in your body tells you to buy the generic? Because you have just been duped, big time. Its ok, don't worry too much, I do it all the time too. Its in our nature to be stupid, just look at Jackass (which I really enjoy by the way).

When Jeff and I started this company, we knew who we'd be competing against. We knew that they boasted advertising budgets compared to ours that would stand like Everest over an anthill. But, we persisted, and we still believe that we can get Americans to come to their senses and figure out that it doesn't cost a lot of money to look good. I can 100% guarantee that our blazer quality is as good, if not better than Gucci, Prada, Polo, and any other top brand you can think of. Our fabric suppliers all have sold to many top brands. I've been in these major brands' stores hundreds of times since I started this business to see what it was that gave them the ability to sell at such a higher price than we plan on selling ours for. I still can't figure it out, other than the fact that in that issue of GQ, the average consumer sees some really good looking guy wearing something in a strange fantasy scene (I think the D&G ads are by far the most ridiculous), and for some reason that stuck with them. That our quality is as good if not better, you may ask why has DressMonkey not superseded these Italian and American powerhouses of the metro sexual market? Well, firstly, because we haven’t started selling yet, give it time. But more likely, because we don't have the ability to tell you, through million dollar advertising campaigns that our quality is better and our offers cooler. Polo doesn't make your blazer to order, they have a guy in "Italy" make it, and then throw it up in some ad. Their store carries it in hopes that you identify that $3,000 item which only cost $200 to make (tops), as being a worthwhile expenditure, no matter how rarely you might wear it. Do they let you choose your exact sizes, or do they let you choose what color stitching you like on the inside? Nope! They tell you what to buy, and how much to spend on it. (I'm not meaning to sound bitter, honestly, but since I've gotten into this business, every day of finding out what these products actually cost to make has further induced outrage that makes me shudder why this topic isn't more mainstream)

I'm the first to admit that I think that most of these brands are really selling a good product. Even armed with a multi-million dollar advertising budget, they couldn't get away with selling a high priced product whose quality didn't warrant the small fortune you spend on it. Our products are the same quality, but we just don't have the marketing capacity these guys have. But we are trying to launch our business the good old fashioned way, through word of mouth and transparency of our brand. This blog was started to help our readers follow the building of our company. We report on things like trade fairs, factory dealings, and strange occurrences not only because we think it can be funny, but also so that you, our target market, can really see what goes into that blazer you'll hopefully eventually buy.

It will not happen overnight, it will not even happen this decade, but eventually, the world will come to its senses. We see the rise of DressMonkey as the fall in consumer brainwashing. It is possible to get a good product at a decent price, and we'll prove that the second we are up and running (which may be sooner than we think. Be patient my monkeys...)

Here at DressMonkey, two things are certain: we will be selling blazers eventually, and we like the show Arrested Development (RIP). Thus, you'll likely see many Gob references, chicken dance innuendos, and George Michael quotes interlaced into our blog entries about blazers. This blog entry is no exception. In the same way that Gob plays the song, "The Final Countdown" by Europe before his failed attempts at magic, we will be using this as our theme song for Meet My Monkey 3, only our magic will work. Sounds like the same cheesy line Gob would say... OK, enough. I won't mention the show for the rest of the entry.

So, down to business. For those of you who have seen our last Meet My Monkey failures and later successes, this concept may be a little familiar to you. If not, I'll explain a little about this process. Basically, Jeff and I are planning on selling blazers after we've gotten all production details hashed out.. (well, I hope you gathered that from the blog, but if you didn't you aren't alone....we're fixing it up to make it a little bit more obvious what the point of the site actually is) But before we can sell you blazers, we want to make sure our products and our ordering system actually work. You don't want to buy crap and we don't want to sell it, so we've been conducting a series of tests on all things supply chain, and now, we've reached the final element of our supply chain to be tested, importing and exporting. We know we can make the products, but must test all of our research, Chinese partners, factories, and everyone else involved in DressMonkey to ensure that they can actually handle normal order volumes. We're going to do this in the form of a dumbed down retail website, which will eventually be replaced with a pretty and upgraded one. But the point is, you will have the opportunity to have your own blazer out of this. We're going to be taking orders online, and you can purchase from us just the same way you would at any other online retail site (only we'll save you some money...). Our target for the MMM3 time-line is only 1 month (starting Nov. 1st), so if your in the market for a good fitting, nice blazer, maybe hold on a little bit until we're live.

But this MMM3 isn't going to be easy. Adam, Jeff, and I are going to be extremely busy over the next month in an effort to get all the buttons, packaging, reporting, tags, etc in order before we sell. If we're going to simulate an order cycle, everything needs to be as it would be in actual production and that's what we're going to do. So everything you've been reading about, for however long you've been reading about it in regards to our blazers could be yours...soon.

More on our progress as it happens. I'll be posting almost exclusively on this push for the next month, as I suspect my fellow monkeys will be as well.

Ok, its bed time in Shanghai, only 1 month till my hero makes his debut.

I've been following this story for weeks, not so much out of my own interest as for feeling personally obligated to follow up on my earlier promises to DressMonkey readers.

While Esquire continues to say that the mystery woman will be revealed in their November issue, it appears someone let the secret slip. The wait's over. America has decided - siding with Coley no doubt - that blonds in fact do rule the universe, or man's desires at least.

Finally, I can stop caring about who's sexy and start caring about what's sexy...The Blazer from DressMonkey. Coming Soon!

Because a picture of a cardboard DressMonkey box just isn't as interesting as this

Its harder than I thought. Finding a suitable box provider that is. WAIT, WAIT!!!!!! DON'T STOP READING, IT GETS MORE INTERESTING I PROMISE!!! Well, I can't be sure about how interesting box manufacturing could possibly be, I remember that Simpsons episode where the kids took a trip to the Box Factory, boring... Well, I took a trip to the box factory and practically got laughed out of the place. The meeting was very serious until I told them what our quantity was going to be for MMM3's box requirements, and they basically shrugged me off. My usual sympathetic tactic of telling them we just started as a company didn't fly here, they just basically showed me around the box factory, showing me other orders they take on a daily basis. Yes, I felt inferior, I challenge you, our DressMonkey readers to prove them wrong! Buy a blazer in MMM3 and make me feel like a real man (by going back and ordering more boxes from them).

When I do eventually find our box guy, we think that you'll be quite impressed with our design and quality of your own, personal blazer courier. We've got a good new book on box design which actually tells you how to make french fry holders (for my future career at McDonald's in case you don't buy our blazers), envelopes, and some pretty funky packaging ideas.

So the lesson of the day in this otherwise meaningless post: when starting a business in China, try desperately to have a lot of funding, because it isn't easy, like most things, to do on the cheap.

Submit your own graphic design work to us for your chance to win instant fame and a free DressMonkey blazer for you and a friend!

Think you have the creative juice to outdo our own graphic designer? To be honest, I'm sure most of you do. We don't want you to tell us, we want you to show us!

From now until December we're accepting original designs from fellow dressmonkeys across the country in hopes of using them in our product launch. The winning artwork will be chosen in December. And depending on the number of entries we get, we may decide to select more than one winner.

We want crest and label designs that are fun and personal and have an unspoken sophistication to them. Check out some the cool design entries we've received thus far from our readers.

Here's what you're up against.

DressMonkey Crest

The Latin reads "Banana, Dressmonkey, Supreme Over All"

DressMonkey Labels

Please bear in mind that entries including any of the following will NOT be considered:

1. Self-promotion
2. The glorification of our brand name competitors
3. Graphics with any form of nudity and racist or sexist connotations, or anything else we feel is controversial and inapproporiate

All else is fair game.

Email your entries to info@dressmonkey.com. Thank you and good luck!

Our first, and probably last bail of fabric from ShaoXing

Well, it had to happen, too much of a good thing is a bad thing I guess. Shaoxing and me, we're not such good friends anymore. It used to be that I couldn't stop talking about how much I loved the place, and thought it was an answer to all of our problems in fabric buying. Well, China has a way of creeping up on you, and it just did with quite a few disappointments today.

I just returned from a trip to Shaoxing with the lovely Adam Williams, where we were literally almost cheated 3 times in a row if it hadn't been for us being quick thinking foreigners (or not being as dumb as the Shaoxing vendors thought we might be). In preparation for our MMM3: The Final Countdown, Adam and I have been scouring the countrysides and textile fairs of China to stock up on fabrics. What I thought would be a quick, easy home run was not to be, as repeatedly the ShaoXing fabric vendors chose to try and capitalize on my not being the only white face in the ENTIRE (enormous) market.

We saw samples we liked, told them and promptly worked out all the terms. Then, we waited for 30 mins (each time) for the fabric to arrive. When it did, we opened up the package and it wasn't even close to what we liked about the samples. They claimed they had no idea what had happened, but after the third time, we realized we were just getting played.

We did manage to buy one decent roll of fabric, one that you'll soon be seeing in MMM3 (pictured above), but for a whole days work, I am not that impressed with our results. I thought about it the whole way home, and have a new strategy with our fabric buying, and then finally washed my sorrows down in a nice, cold Sam Adams waiting for me in the fridge (they finally came to China, thank freakin God). Thus, my love affair with one of the most boring and out of the way towns in China has now ended.

DressMonkey kicking down doors and burning down buildings in the search for Shaoxing's fabric frauds

Coley and I aren't hurting after bottles of Shaoxing Rice Whine were smashed over our heads the other day. In fact, we're feeling surprisingly good from it. We're used to dealing with shady Chinese vendors who seem like their entire purpose in life is to rip off unsuspecting foreigners. I've read more stories about foreign investments lost in China due to false promises than I care to bring up. In fact, this book in some way inspired me even more to start a company with Chinese risks tied into it. Why don't I sound too worried right now? First of all, because thanks to Coley's quick thinking, we were never chumped in the first place. And second of all, because other parts of our Monkey are moving along quite nicely: we've designed some sleek packaging for our product, ironed out our supply chain with our trade agent, and ready to set up our payment gateway so we can start processing orders online.

Today was by far one of the most interesting and stressful days yet. I've never been tested so much in my Chinese, simply because our designer, Adam Williams is extremely particular and doesn't speak much Chinese. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that he's so particular about how he wants his designer blazers made, but it can be quite difficult trying to get every single detail translated into Chinese on the spot...and we aren't going to hire a translator because frankly, we can't afford one! Thus, its on me to get all these little details into Chinese so our super tailor, Wu Xiansheng can do what he does best and craft a beautiful blazer.

Up until now, we've been establishing a system with him using a defined set of variables to combine into what will soon be our custom blazer offering. Many of the options, though unique, have all been seen and done several times by the seasoned, 72 year old master tailor. Today's creation however, had all sorts of things that were a little too new and crazy for him, so it took quite a bit of negotiation, haggling, and general convincing him that his tailors could do it. Thus, after about 2 hours of work, I think he got the point and we've now got our first DressMonkey non-custom prototype in the works. I'm interested to see if this actually is successful, if my Chinese actually translated well and he wasn't just nodding, and if you, our target audience respond well on November 1st to Adam's first of hopefully many creations.

Derek was almost on board to star in the shoot...but then he wore this coat.

I will soon be able to add another line to my resume, and another row of hair fallen out due to complete stresses. "Photo Shoot Coordinator," yes, thats me. When DressMonkey rises the ranks of the corporate fashion world, we will have our own photography department. For now, its just me. So our very first DressMonkey photoshoot, using actual DressMonkey blazers is on for Sunday, weather permitting. While we have an excess of blazers, a RIDICULOUS photographer, and a beer budget, hired models actually charge money (can you believe that!?...the nerve...) so we are going to use us and our friends to wear our products. Also, our friends are really, really good looking (cue magnum look....its glorious).

I've been really stressed out this week in preparation for MMM3, sourcing our buttons, boxes, fabrics and all sorts of shit, but I'm actually looking forward to what will no doubt be another chaotic day in the building of this brand. It has been crazy thus far, trying to work with people's commitments to flag football, outfit requirements, and our photographer's generally kickass ideas. We found a way to motivate people, with a massive BBQ at the end of the day, and hopefully we'll get some cool rooftop shots then.

I'll write an extended post after I'm finished with the shoot, and maybe give you guys a sneak preview of some of the shots. Regardless, its been a long day trying to deal with all things MMM3, I need thai food, stat.

Steve and Jamey grunge it up in their Sunday best

And its done, our first DressMonkey photoshoot. While the pictures are being prepared, I thought I'd share with you some highlights of our very cool and remarkably organized (thank you very much...) DM photoshoot. Jeff and I have already done a shoot (look in the upper right corner of the site, see our pictures? those were done by the same photographer who took our shots yesterday), so I felt a little experienced with the process. I honestly thought that a lot of our friends would maybe show up a little late or forget a component of their requested attire, but they all proved me terribly wrong, and were timely, professional, and made the shoot's quality and efficiency really shine. Which was a little surprising because I asked that a few people meet me at 9am, on a Sunday. I only pray we have such DressMonkey dedication during MMM3 in a few weeks time.

So I should be getting the shots tomorrow, and their end use will really depend on the quality of the shots. Some could appear as actual product shots and some may remain stock photos that we'll occasionally throw into future catalogues or Quarterly Reports when we IPO (any day now..).

In all, I think our decision to nix the hired models for the shoot ultimately will prove beneficial for us. We saved some money, didn't have to deal with crazy egos, and got all the members of our target market to don their very own DressMonkey. Charlie (the photographer) took some very clean, uncomplicated shots that really highlighted our products. None of this D&G weirdness, we kept our shoot simple and focused on all the things that make our blazers superior.

For those of you who venture into our trial store during MMM3, you may see some shots there and you also may see further more still adorning our blog and permanent store soon.

GQ's caught my attention with their list of the TEN BEST SUITS UNDER $500.

The best value looks to be the blue corduroy two-piece from United Color of Benetton.

We're also offering a similar cordoruy slim-fit blazer in black, brown and blue this fall.

Kudos to GQ for finally writing about value purchases, but We say, save you money for a suit jacket that's guaranteed to be cheaper and better reflect how you want to look and feel when you put it on. DressMonkey available VERY SOON.

I started humming that John Mayer song "Something's Missing" today. No, don't stop reading, I promise this will be the last John Mayer reference from me (can't speak for Jeff) ever. But back to the point, I was humming it because I feel like we at DressMonkey are slowly but surely checking off our tasks before we can start selling to you all. Corduroy...check. Velvet...check. Boxes...check, etc (hence the title, come on, you must know that song). Something is definitely missing, but I have a good feeling that MMM3 will really teach us what, if anything, is missing from our supply chain or products.

I have established a lot of great contacts that will be extremely helpful in the future on our quest to source everything from buttons to boxes. I really feel like the hard part is almost over, i.e., convincing people that they should give me a smaller quantity. As I have ranted about in earlier posts, the hardest thing for us about starting up in China is the Chinese complete disregard for the little guy, i.e., nobody will sell in increments of less than a thousand...for anything. I'm serious, I really doubt that the Chinese navy cannot order 5 or 6 aircraft carriers, I bet the minimum that the aircraft carrier supplier is willing to go is at least 10 (or maybe the Chinese Navy has a little bit more pull with the suppliers than I seem to) . Well the same is true for buttons. "What? You only want 400? I make 90,000 of these things a day, what the hell am I going to sell you 400 for," is a serious reaction I've gotten on the phone more than once. "You mean you don't want 10,000 of those? Where do you think you are," happened just the other day.

I haven't given up, in fact, here at DressMonkey we're going against the current but we are making slow progress. Our boxes are now ordered, as is about 1/2 of our fabric for MMM3. We'll be up sooner than you know it, and when you purchase a blazer from November to December, you'll know that every single part of that blazer was a small hurdle to overcome here in the world's factory floor, China.

Despite analyst projections on DressMonkey being the world's largest corporation in 4 years with earnings exceeding the GDP of Kazakhstan, our current earnings situation (equal to the GDP of the Vatican City's gift shop, on a bad day) requires that we must combine our offices with our residences. In our US headquarters, Jeff conducts his daily DressMonkey tasks amid empty pizza boxes and socal hotties in his San Diego bachelor pad. I on the other hand sit amongst thousands of fabric samples, sweet and sour pork scraps, and a time conscious German Generalissimo who doesn't tolerate weakness.

There has been a lot of activity at our Shanghai branch, (aka, my domicile). I've been working pretty hard on gathering all our buttons, fabrics, tags, etc for MMM3, which means that a lot of kuaidi (express) guys have been knocking on my door at all hours of the day to deliver samples. I've had some interesting experiences with some of our kuai di's, some of them negative but most of them just plain weird. Here, I have ranked the top 3 in order of strangeness.

3. At Your Convenience: One thing I've noticed about these guys is that they don't seem to have an idea what a good time to deliver a package is. I know they are probably busy and work 15 hour days for 3 bucks a day or something, but there is nothing more annoying then getting a package at 6am on a Saturday, especially after the night before was spent "trying to stick it to the man" at Paulaner's Oktoberfest during an all you can drink binge (only 3 liters of beer and the ticket pays for itself, I approached the value of two tickets). He was greeted with a boxer-clad Coley who according to my German accomplice, smelled like a "beer bottle." I thought I smelled more like a beer bottle filled with cologne, but she kept her distance this morning, and rightfully so. The delivery guy may have learned his lesson, but my hangover from hell day started off on the wrong foot, because of a 6am rude awakening.

2. A Pleasant Surprise: I am a strict follower to the DressMonkey office dress code. If you rummage through our archives, you'll see that this essentially means boxer shorts and a 5 o'clock shadow. The delivery guys who come to the office/lair are often greeted by the sight of such a dress code. Some stand there in amazement (not of my physique, but their awe stems from the fact that they have never seen a foreigner in boxer shorts, at 5pm). Others have actually commented and one even suggested that the world would be a better place if all offices had such dress codes (seriously). Either he's a pervert or a genius, you be the judge.

1. Loogies and Fabric: A few days ago, a delivery guy came with a huge bail of fabric and trudged into my place with mud slicked shoes and an attitude. The guy in Shaoxing affirmed that there would be no extra charge for the fabric delivery, but apparently the delivery guy thought differently. He demanded additional money, and I told him to get the fuck out (in Chinese) about 40 times. He wouldn't leave, and all the while we were arguing, he kept spitting in the hallway, big and nasty loogies (I know its a "cultural thing" in China to spit but comeon! In a hallway!?). Eventually, I called the kuai di company and worked out a deal, but 10
loogies later, I was not happy and almost got into an altercation with the guy because he wouldn't stop spitting.

American consumers may not have heard about DressMonkey yet, but the bureaucrats in D.C. whose job it is to protect them sure have.

For over two weeks now, I've been trying (and failing) to speak to someone at the CPSC about the Fabric Flammability Act, since the law is central to our business of manufacturing and selling clothes. I called at least 4 times this week and every time I can never get past the same old senior-aged bureaucrat sitting behind her desk giggling every time the name DressMonkey is said. All I ask from her is that I be connected to the officer in charge of compliance for this particular statute. She promises me that a compliance officer has been forwarded my request and will call me back shortly. Two weeks later and still not a word…

Covering our ass from all the consumer product/retail regulations was something we knew we had to do before starting the business. However, we didn’t foresee the price for following the rules being caught up in a web of US bureaucratic inefficiency.

The DressMonkey's surrounded their not-so-distant cousin, but attempts at communication seemed to be going nowhere.

Tomorrow I will embark on what will hopefully be our final round of fabric sourcing for this MMM3. I'm going to the gigantic textile trade fair and I hope to get some good contacts and hopefully better leads on sourcing the last of our fabric for MMM3: The Final Countdown.. Thats right, in about a week and a half, you'll be able to order your very own DressMonkey. Jeff has outlined how to do so in an earlier posting, and we'll be following up with more details soon so keep posted.

Now, back to the trade fair. We've done this before, and found some great sponges and the occasional velvet. But now the pressure is really on. Adam and I will be going there tomorrow with the intention of buying a lot of fabric to offer you future customers. We've got all of our specs in mind, and essentially its going to come down to how much I can bargain some of these people down. As I almost always mention, doing business in China is about volumes, and people won't talk to you unless you can order 900,000,000 of something from them. Tomorrow's fair is going to be big, with a lot of buyers with much more capital than we at DressMonkey have. My hopes are that either they are astonished by my strikingly average good looks, or better still my bargaining Chinese.

I've had a busy day working since 6:30am on the ordering sheet that you'll be receiving if you request it once we're ready, and I'm pretty sure that you'll be impressed by its user-friendly nature. After that, its time to play some dodgeball, where the Chuck Norris Fan Club will extend its domination streak. Then, I'm off to Pudong to rub shoulders with old guys named Stan from the midwest who are here for 3 days for the trade fair, yet still need to go to Hooters to remind them what chicken wings taste like (believe me, you would be surprised how many foreigners come to Shanghai for trade fairs for literally 2 days, yet still need that "taste of home"). Wish me luck readers.

I'm tired, really tired. It seems like all day I gave the same speech, over and over and over and over. "We're just starting out, looking to buy only a small amount of fabric but we'll be back when we get a bit more funding from back home," was what I said, all day, to at least 30 different vendors, in Chinese. I think most of them really wouldn't have even talked to me if I hadn't busted out the mandarin, they all seemed flabbergasted by it. Mainly because I was the first white guy who didn't have a translator with me (you should have seen the look I got from those same white guys when I hopped on a motorbike to avoid the longest taxi line I've ever seen in my life).

I'm so freaking exhausted right now, I'm lying in bed typing this and have to get up in a few hours to go finalize some deals I made today. But before I relent to the mounting protests made by my German ally (an oxymoron no more) to stop typing so loudly, some select highlights of today:

1) I found exactly what I was looking for in terms of Navy Wool and tweeds...sweet!

2) Buttons, oh buttons. Who knew that a textile fair would have so many button vendors?

3) I was invited, twice, to karaoke by old Chinese factory owners. Invitations accepted: 0 (karaoke is only fun with your friends, otherwise its just awkward)

4) I discovered that KFC should not be eaten for two days in a row, but the third day is actually not so bad.

5) The Shanghai Exhibition Center must have been an airport before it was made into the largest convention center in the world (I don't have any facts to back either of those claims up)

6) The Coffee Bean is a rip off, no matter what continent.

Ok, thats it for now, I'll post more tomorrow with pictures of my adventures.

The DressMonkey Street Team in this fall's finest fabrics

We’re closing in on MMM3: The Final Countdown. Here’s a quick introduction to the process of ordering your first custom DressMonkey blazer.

Our store-front will just be our blog. Nothing too fancy or over our heads...yet, at least. Each blazer will be its own entry, and each entry (product) will be under a new category titled “Shop Our Products.” All of the blazer types offered for MMM3: The Final Countdown will be listed there. Within each product entry will be content you’d expect from any online clothing retailer: pictures, price, product information, shipping and tax information etc. You will see a "Buy Now" button alongside each product; if you would like to purchase that blazer simply click the "Buy Now" button within that product entry and you will be directed to our secure checkout page.

The checkout will be a basic one offered by PayPal. After comparing various “out-of-the-box” shopping carts on the market and having reached my year’s quota of talking with sales representatives over the phone, PayPal in the end just seemed to stick out as the best way to go for our vamped up round of Meet My Monkey. It’s fast, easy to set up, secure, and has no monthly or cancellation fees. So, this weekend I’ll start integrating the service into this website. The payment process will be fully-secure, 256-bit encryption with PayPal’s guarantee. You can use credit card, bank transfer, and a PayPal account to purchase.

The final (and by far the most important) thing you need to do is fill out your individual order form after you’ve purchased your blazer. You will use the order form to tell us what size blazer you want (DMNK generic size or your own personal measurements), fabric type (color), and all the pimped out preferences you wish to have for your blazer. The order form will be in Excel format.

Coley and I still have not decided the best way to make the order form available to customers: there will either be a link on our website that you can click to download the order form, or we will email you the order form personally.

Here’s the order process broken down step-by-step:

1. Visit Dressmonkey.com
2. Click the “Shop Our Products” link under the Category header in the sidebar
3. Browse our product offerings
4. Click the Buy Now button to make a purchase on that item
5. Complete checkout
6. Fill out your order form (once your order has been processed)

You will likely be noticing these changes being implemented into our website in the coming days, all ahead of our anticipated launch in early November.

Its Big

"If we had this trade show at the beginning of the summer, we would have saved like 99% of the stress we've endured here up until this point," our famed lead designer Adam Williams said. How right he was, and how happy I was that he was so. We've just finished our last push for fabric buying, and I can now say confidently that all of our fabrics for MMM3: The Final Countdown are now in the pipeline. This is a big step for us, as we've seen our ups and mostly downs of fabric buying in this here middle kingdom.

This trade fair was absolutely huge, I mean "ginormous" (to quote one Cliff Stevens). Picture a building, the size of two hockey rinks (or maybe 2 football fields), crammed with Chinese vendors pitching everything from buttons to cashmere. Then multiply that by 8. 8 buildings. It took me 3 days to see everything, and even then I had missed probably half as I was weighted down with all sorts of brochures and samples. I have to make a new shelf in my office for all the brochures and samples I got (we make furniture in China, its cheaper, and done by a cool guy who works on the street. No, not like he hustles money or pimps or anything, he actually makes the shelf or whatever you want right there on the street, his workshop)

So now I'm following up with all of these guys that I made "playbooks" for at the trade fair today. I literally have a course of events mapped out for each fabric, to make sure that you'll be able to order your kickass own DressMonkey in about 10 days. I'm excited, hope you are too!

Am I getting better at writing titles or am I getting worse at detecting my own crappy jokes? Either way, I think the title shows what the entry is going to be about, and also provides some light humor in your otherwise office-space day. I just finished a quick meeting with our tag providers, and it turns out that we're in really good standing with them. We've got all sorts of discounts, all sorts of lifting of the infamous "minimum quantities," and they are willing to do business with us according to our "holy shit we need 700 tags in 3 days" business plan (that business plan has been trademarked by DressMonkey, I'm currently working on the book, due out never).

So this meeting I had yesterday alleviated a lot of my stresses that they wouldn't adapt to our requirements, let alone the FTC's crazy rules. Ever look at one of your fabric care labels in your blazer or any other article of clothing? Have any idea what those labels mean? Now you do. I never realized that starting this company would force me to learn such random things. For example, I never knew anything about fabric, I really couldn't tell the difference between cotton and wool, and now I'm guessing fabric compositions rather accurately (going into stores, molesting a blazer in order to guess its fabric composition, then testing yourself by looking at the fabric content tag to see if your a pro or not). Gucci's got nothing on me, their velvets aren't even close to getting past my acute sense of touch.

So our tags are almost done, boxes done, fabrics on their way...a DressMonkey blazer could soon be yours!